The Extraordinary Marriage

What does a healthy & loving marriage look like?

Ignite new life and energy in your relationship

Home of the Extraordinary Marriage

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 Hi there! 

I bet you already know that the relationship between you and your partner, colors everything else in your life.  It's the foundation that leads to happiness, fulfillment, and a bright future OR frustration and limitation.  Whether you are engaged, married, or even still searching for answers after a divorce, you will find answers here.

You may be saying, "My spouse is awesome" or "How can I save my marriage"? 


 We all have our own special charm that makes us unique,

but this same uniqueness can also be the very source of division in marriage.


Your life experiences and unique personalities will bring you together or drive a wedge between you - but it doesn't have to.

Sometimes a few small adjustments are all it takes to get back on track and reignite the enthusiasm for life and each other.


Picture your relationship like an engine.......

 if things start running rough or stalling out,

tune-ups or checkups may be in order for peak performance.


Remember to take time out for yourself too. 

Sure relationships take work, but don’t let them diminish

who you are as a person, be yourself. 

Skip the downward plunge with marital troubles.......

jump onto the "Going Up" elevator

where hope & confidence can be restored.


  With just a few simple tweaks here and there

to nurture your relationship,

a happier marriage is within reach!


The Relationship Transformer, Connie Durham


PS....scroll down for the most recent vlogs & free gifts 


The Past & Conflicting Personalities Cause Havoc in Families

While it's normal to have disagreements, the key is to remember that healthy marriages lift you up while troubled ones tend to zap your confidence and drain your batteries.

You can't change the past

But you can create a better future

I believe there are three things that color how we see the world and make decisions.


#1 Our belief in God as the creator - God's word (Holy Bible) is the guide that heals and keeps us out of troubling situations.  (If you're atheist or believe the universe created it's self....don't leave me, I'm not going to preach to you)

#2 All of our PAST experiences from childhood, choices as a teenager and young adult, along with the adults in our lives, made us who we are today. As humans we need to be heard, understood, and appreciated. 

#3  According to your Personality style (behavior style) you have different needs, emotions, abilities,  and preferences in life.  This is a great place to start, and where I can help by helping you identify the personality style of you and your spouse.  (These are hard facts everyone can work with)

  • Often opposites attract and then crush each other
  • We assume we want the same things, but don't
  • Every misunderstanding cause more division
  • You can begin to resolve conflict as you understand your differences

 and learn how to relate better to one another

I'm doing everything right and it's just not working!

I've seen this happen first hand

 There may have been red flags while you were dating,

but once you got married, the real deal was staring you in the face and it was scary.


Hurting people hurt others. 

If your spouse grew up in a family with abusive behavior like alcohol, drugs, physical or mental abuse, and yes divorced parents, they may have some issues.  Time may mend, but seeking help speeds up the process.  (If there's physical abuse seek help.)

#1 - Know it's not your fault

#2 - Seek help (I would suggest Christian Counseling, because they care about families)

#3 - Your spouse can not exhibit behavior that's never been modeled for them before

You know that ole saying that you are like the 5 people you hang around the most.  Well, take a look at yourself, then look at your spouse.

How was your childhood molded?

  What kind of values were instilled in you by your parents? 

We can only imitate what we've seen. 

So again I say "You can only exhibit the behavior you have witnessed in your life." 

This is big!

Signs Of A Failing Marriage

You start out loving everything about each other but sometimes your PAST & your Personalities Cause Division


  • You & Your Spouse Never Listen to each other
  • You Find Yourself Constantly Arguing         
  • Your Stressed When Your Spouse is Around
  • You Feel Disrespected 
  • You Feel Contempt Towards Your Spouse
  • You Stopped Making Time for One Another 

Over time all of these things run together

resulting in division, discontentment, and 50% of the time,


It doesn't have to be that way!



#1 Make sure your spouse knows that they are number one.  (sometimes the kids wiggle into this spot)

#2 Lift and Support one another by truly listening, encouraging, and affirming.

#3 Turn up the communication by talking about your day, ideas for your future, and yes.....even feelings.

#4 This is a BIG one, don't sweat the little things (and do know the difference) and forgive. how much did that REALLY matter?

#5 Build trust by keeping your word and lean on each other in the things that you're each GOOD at.

Be the person you want them to be.  Be kind, thoughtful and helpful.  It's important that you LIKE your SPOUSE and that YOU be likable too!

Happy Marriages = Happier Kids

Show Your Spouse

You Care

#1  Give full attention to the person talking
#2  Give more than you take
#3  Be sure you know one another's LOVE Languages and use them
#4  Put down your devices when you're having time together
#5  Use the ancient word, Thank You often

How To Save Your Marriage When It Seems Impossible

Stop the frustration, misunderstandings and energy drainers, so that you can  feel the Love again

When You Work With Me,

You'll Follow the Triple R Method


Recognize, Resolve, & Reset 


  1.  You will Recognize & Identify the key marital challenges you and your partner are facing and feel supported.
  2. Learn new ways you can Resolve the Conflict and melt away your differences.
  3. You'll use communication and connection secrets most do not know, and begin to reset your life together.

Suggestions for a better marriage

Ultimately we are all.......

 Looking to be heard, understood, and appreciated by our spouse, but sometimes there are factors that are out of our control. Things we just don't understand.

This is when we....

Need to seek help in unveiling what the root cause is.  Often our past experiences in life begin to predict our future.

Resulting in.....

Avoidable wrong choices and disappointment, failed marriages, divided families, and a lifetime of wrong choices and disappointment.



But it doesn't have to be that way!

You can change your circumstances.  Discover why you and your spouse are not getting along and how to turn it around now.

Here's what people are saying about

Connie's Programs


"I loved learning about all of the different personality types, even my husband (who honestly didn't want to do the class) LOVED it once it started!  We still yell out our personality types when they really start to show themselves! "

Nikki Duncan
Owner - My Secretary


We use it everyday! 

 In how we communicate with each and how we parent.  Knowing our differences helps us to be better communicators.  I’ve learned that my husband just needs me to be direct and say what I’m thinking or feeling vs keeping it bottled up and then exploding.  We try to take those differences and use them to balance us out.

Amee Davison - Realtor 

I though the program was very informative

"Kelly said, I did the DISC program several years ago and it helps doing it again, as years have changed the circumstances in life i.e. retirement, work, empty nest, adult children now married, etc.  It's wonderful to have different types of people in this world and know how to relate based on their personality."

Kelly Baker
KBO Credit Card Processing


Begin Here

Step 1

Unlock the potential of your marriage today and gain a "Fresh Insight" into its depths through my complimentary session.   Foster new understanding, growth, and harmony within your relationship.

Check For Availability

Step 2


How would you like to let go

of the things that hold you back

and feel energized again?

Get it Here

Step 3

Conflicts can easily rupture the bond between two people, destroying trust and leaving them feeling isolated from each other. Begin to resolve these feelings with the Free Webinar below. 

"How to Shower Your Spouse with Confidence & Love"


 After more than four decades of marriage and a family full of kids, grandkids, laughter and tears - I know what it's like to struggle with the stress and frustration that can come along with loving people.

     Too often couples get caught up in everyday worries, losing sight of their original love connection as they become bogged down by disagreements over money, children, or the inability to see anything except their own side of things.

I provide guidance through these trying times, keeping you from accepting the things that bog you down and divide you, by helping you embrace, understand, and keep your head above the challenges, so that you can see the possibilities around you.

     Through my own experience rooted in faith--which teaches me there is something good within all people--I help guide you back towards your partner, to rekindle the spark once shared between you!

The Relationship Transformer,

Connie Durham

 "25 Secrets to Boost your Marital Mojo" 


FREE GIFT - Children Learn What They Live

The Extraordinary Marriage Vlog

John Maxwell says "Change is Inevitable. Growth is Optional."

One Of My Favorites....

All parents want their best life for themselves and their kids. 
They just don't know how to get it.  
Just click & listen and see what you think

Are the DEMANDS of life, different points of view,

 and old habits,

Weighing your marriage DOWN?

   Create a More Fulfilling Relationship and take your marriage to new heights as you discover and clarify the secrets for more love, support, and gratification.


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